Life is like a science experiment.
If shit doesnt work you change the variable...
except if you accidentally blew up a building with that one variable its a little too late to change it.

I am convinced that if ONE LITTLE thing wasnt part of my night I wouldnt be sitting at home crying from frustration.

oh, and another thing thats unrelated...
almost once a week I hear something else
but now Im afraid to say anything because Im afraid youll convince me to not walk away...again.
Im trotting a fine line between taking no notice and going "see you in ten months" mode.
I dont want to have some big suprise any further along this road.
and what the fuck.
I dont do this.
Im never like this.
This is not me at all.
I dont have these conversations.
I dont have these worries.
I go with it.
I dont interfere.
I dont try.
ever.
who duh fux iz you?!

p.s.
Its insane how long it took me to write that small amount. Usually I write better when Im frustrated or have alot on my mind, but I am so unbelievably frustrated I am at a loss for words.
If one was to ask me how I felt I would say one sentence, start mumbling, and end with "and just a bunch of shit".