Ya know, we always convince ourselves and imagine things being so much better and so great and we imagine exactly how that would be accomplished when we all know unconsciously its really just our imaginations.
I know Im overanalyzing, but the fact is, I am far too complicated and emotionally exhausting to ask anyone to put up with it.
Its unfair.
I want so badly to just sit and tell someone everything that goes on in my head, to just sit and SAY everything, but I am too afraid of that person getting annoyed or tired or just plain "why the fuck is she talking to me"
Which furtherly makes me feel like a horrible person because sometimes I think that way when friends are talking to me.
I am a fucking walking contradiction and I cant fucking stand it.
I am everything I am against.
I am far to aware and worried about the way people perceive me.
PERCEIVE not THINK, its a fine line, but a line none the less.
I know the intensions were good, but good intensions never have any effect on the actual happenings.
Im content.
Im just tired of thinking, worrying, whining... Im really better off.
Wrong time, wrong place, wrong coincidences, wrong people.
I wish I could rid myself of my overactive mind, so fucking badly.
Overall, I am an idiot.



Other than this shit tonight has been great, haha. I played my first scratcher, I won 2 dollahz!
helped me buy barbeque. 8-)
We bought a calzilla and while ian, caitlin, and shelby were on the way we cut one peice into thirds and moved the rest of the pizza to another box. It was hilarius... to me, lia, Krysden, and elliot at least... Our laughter suggested hilarity but the others werent amused... slutevah, it was funny.


oh, btw.... ACHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!