I knew today was going to be bad.
Ive known today was going to be bad.
I really just wish I hadnt looked at a calendar last night and been reminded...
then maybe I wouldnt be reacting until after said date.

This is all a product of things I should regret.
This is all a product of decisions Ive made I think I regret.
But I am a firm believer in things happening to a reason, "firm believer" used very lightly simply because I am horribly inconsistant. Well, less inconsistant more not sure of what I believe.
what an oxymoron.
Thinking back now, I should have delt with it back then. Or maybe I shouldnt have been pressured. No, allowed myself to be pressured.
When I went in that morning I was still thinking I could undo what I was about to do.
Not consciously of course, but I guess thats what it was.
Maybe I just went ahead and did what I did without thinking to keep me from having to make a firm decision.
I didnt want what everyone else wanted.
I wanted what was supposed to happen happen.

I have been horribly anti-social the last couple of days, and I apologize to those who have noticed.
I probably wont turn my phone back on until friday.
Fair warning.