This entry is really just to get some points across.
"You have no potential in life"
I personally dont believe someone who has had an under the counter job for less than a week is in a place to tell me I have no potential. One who also stopped going to classes a month after the semester started. Granted I did as well, but I dropped out to avoid academic penalty... responsibly. Im 17 and I am on your education level if not exceeded it. Thats a three year difference... and youre in the same fucking spot as me. Also, is someone with a 400 dollar car payment that is paid completely by welfare checks she gets from the government in a place to argue shes making an effort to get by in this economy? Its funny how when I was younger I always thought that when people have kids they are somewhat mature and arnt obsessed with drama to entertain themselves. Clearly only the stupid people breed. Im honestly not hurt at all by any of the things you say to me. I knew after a month of hanging out with you how much higher up I was and still am. No one believes anything you say because you do lie so much for attention. I am actually pretty relieved all this happened, Ive been trying to figure out for about a week now how to "break up with friends", well, just you. Your behavior the other night just proves even more how much growing up you need to do. Im not saying that Im completely mature, but I act my age. Youre a 20 year old single mother and you still take advantage of and manipulate everyone around you. insults like "stay up your pedophile boyfriends ass" and "at least I didnt murder my baby because I was selfish and wanted to live my life" are things I would expect from an angsty 15 year old trying to act badass. But hey, you had a kid and still manage to party and spend your government money on alcohol and cigarettes, but thats probably just because you have so many people you can take advantage of to do it. Grow up is all I can say, just grow the fuck up. done.

I feel like its gotten so bad that it wont go back to the way it was. Im not a child. Well, legally I am a child, but the only people that have the right to treat me like one are my parents, and they don't. So I especially think someone close to me shouldn't treat me as such. Is this an outrageous expectation? I guess I shouldn't make them anymore, I just get disappointed... isn't that right?

I guess ill be blogging more often now.

"The more you attempt to make things right, the worse they get. The smartest thing for you to do now is to simply let go. Keep in mind that this is not about defeat; rather, it's about conserving your energy to apply it where you can be more productive."

"You realize that your level of involvement is your decision and doesn't belong to anyone else. But you could set yourself up to lose either way emotionally now unless you take complete responsibility for your actions."

I think youre the most beautiful person to ever walk to planet.

The closer bamboozle is the more my stomach turns. Tomorrow, fucking tomorrow! The last couple days have been really really nice though. I'll be okay, I dont think Ill lose THAT much sleep. ;-)
M#

All I want is to spend all day with you, with no interruptions, cook lunch in our underwear, watch "epic" movies you cant believe I haven't seen, with whiskey and chile ramen, topped off by cuddle time and back rubs. You've made me learn what unconditional is, you're the only one outside of my family I care about unconditionally. I don't fucking care what my or your friends say (so cliche), it doesn't matter what bad shit happens, bad shit can't be avoided when you put your heart into something, ANYTHING! All I want is you. Ive never felt comfortable or even open to the idea of considering someone else in my decisions until there was you, now its just natural and I WANT to. I can't see myself with anyone else now, and I mean, I guess that usually happens but I don't even entertain the idea in my head at all. Its not desirable. I have these time frames based on objects. Like, you're drawing and your pillow, and I look back on to when I received them and think about how much I cared for you then and I totally thought it would be a steady road for me emotionally from then on... then, if that makes sense. But every fucking day I fall harder and harder and get more and more attached, but I'm fine with it, because its exactly where I am happiest and that's where I want to be. I mean, the only time I don't fall asleep holding onto your pillow is when I fall asleep holding on to you. I don't think things will change in a bad way, I only think things can get better, because it has thus far. M#